Sat across from you I desperately began my search. I was longing for a different life and you felt like my last chance. But I was still unsure.

I tried to trust you, to trust myself. Inevitably, it felt impossible.

Week by week we waded through my thoughts; thick, tangled, twisted. Alongside you I allowed myself to face the darkness. My darkness.

For so long I had feared what I might find. Was it the truth? I am still unsure.

Fragments of feelings flashed burning and bright rather than the dim and distant memories I dreamed I might discover. They hurt. They still do.

And what am I left with? What might I make of these broken parts? How will I fix them together to form my future?


One thought on “Therapy

  1. How familiar this world is to me. For me it is one of the greatest gifts of the world, receiving psychotherapy. It is so hard sometimes, many times, and it feels like an interminable pilgrimage, a rocky road leading nowhere, to pay homage at the shrine of a statue of an unknown saint. Our name that isn’t yet known, but that WILL sound. A quest to find the sound of your own name, and to have someone else tell you how to spell it, but a name, your name, that YOU will be able to speak out loud first. You call your own name. I am glad that we hold hands across cyber space, holding together the seams that fasten together matching parts in you and me. x

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